Pursuit of Happiness
by imagine131
Summary: Quinn Fabray is dealing with a lot right now. It seems as though Rachel Berry is the only one who can get through to her-or who even tries. Picks up after Quinn returns to Glee. Up-and-coming Faberry :
1. Hate Me

**Hello, readers! So I've recently been converted to the Gleek fandom, and I am in love with Dianna Agron (Quinn Fabray) so I decided to write a little Faberry. That being said, I'm trying to be as true to the characters as I can be. I'm leaving this open for continuation with no guarantees. So, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy :)**

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><p><strong><em>Hate Me<em>**

**Blue October**

Quinn Fabray sat on the stiff piano bench in the empty auditorium, feeling the exhaustion from her first day back in Glee Club wash over her aching bones. She stretched her fingers, the only parts of her body that weren't sore from Booty Camp, over the cool ivory keys, letting her eyelids flutter closed and her breath release from her chest cavity in a whisper. A sigh so sad and powerful it threatened to shake her still form soared through the air, propelled past her chapped lips.

Having grown up in a wealthy Christian family, piano lessons had been forced down the throats of the Fabray children since they had understood what 'music' was. Eyes still peacefully hidden from the world behind folds of light skin, Quinn let her fingers stretch and flex over the keys, producing a classical melody she had memorized from her childhood. The eloquent sound of the piano soothed the blonde. Her posture relaxed, the weight of her self-assigned stresses melted off of her shoulders as she allowed the music to fill every corner of her mind and leave no room for argument with her dangerous thoughts.

It was a rare moment when relief such as this found it's say into Quinn, and she relished it. For once she wasn't trying to figure out who she was supposed to be and who she actually was. She wasn't picturing her daughter, happily in Puck's arms and frustratingly far from her own. She wasn't unfortunately remembering her summer and the things she'd done. She was just playing.

The sound of the door at the far end of the auditorium being roughly cast open caused Quinn to jump, fingers trembling over misplaced notes, tranquility gone with the melody. She spun on the bench to face the intruder and saw Rachel Berry slowly approaching, looking a little embarrassed to have interrupted Quinn.

"You're back," Rachel commented once she'd ascended to her rightful place on the stage. She took in Quinn's light hair and clean clothes as she spoke. Her joy was obvious in her voice and her warm smile, which Quinn did not return.

"I'm here," she corrected the bubbly brunette. Rachel faltered at Quinn's sullen tone and a somewhat awkward silence followed until Rachel mustered up the words to break it.

"I came to practice for the play," she told Quinn. Quinn's hazel eyes watched blankly as Rachel produced the playbook as evidence, showing the sheet music to Quinn. "I'm auditioning for the role of Maria, which one would think I'd be a shoe-in for, but Mercedes' competition is as fierce as she is and I want to be at the top of my game so I can feel as though I've truly won the part."

"I'll get out of your way then," she said, unsure, as always, how to respond to Rachel's ramble. Thankfully their not-really-friends relationship relieved Quinn of that responsibility very often. She stood to leave the diva her stage, but was stopped by sudden movements from the smaller girl.

"Wait," Rachel called quickly. "You don't have to go. I could use your brutally honest feedback."

Quinn contemplated her options before making a decision. She could go home and face her alcoholic mother and a pile of homework she had been blowing off in the name of her Skank persona, or she could watch Rachel do what she did best. Not that she'd ever admit it, but Quinn loved watching Rachel perform. Her voice alone was captivating.

"Okay. Do you need me to play for you?" she asked, gesturing to the piano she had just vacated. Rachel's eyes widened slightly, clearly surprised at the acceptance of her suggestion and Quinn's offer. She nodded.

"That would be excellent, Quinn, thank you. I heard you playing when I came in. Except for the end where I scared you and you played a sharp rather than a flat, your skills as a pianist are really quite admirable. I never knew you could play," Rachel droned.

"There's a lot you don't know about me," Quinn muttered, more to herself than to the Glee captain. Hell, there was a lot Quinn didn't know either. She took her seat on the still-warm bench and straightened her spine, hands hovering over the keys. Rachel spread the notes in front of her and with a nod from the performer, Quinn began to play.

The song sounded familiar. Quinn looked to the top of the page and read the title: I Feel Pretty. She immediately stopped playing, causing Rachel to turn to her in alarm.

"What's wrong?" she asked. Quinn tore her eyes from the sheet music and forced herself to look at Rachel.

"Nothing. I was just surprised. We sang this song together," Quinn answered. She licked her bottom lip and rested her hands in her lap.

"Yes, it's a Maria classic," Rachel beamed. She sat next to Quinn on the bench, making the other girl stiffen reflexively. When Rachel next spoke, her tone was soft but serious, curious and concerned. "Quinn, are you okay?"

It was the question Quinn had been waiting for. Ever since she'd returned to school with her pink hair and pierced nose. Ever since she bought the raggy clothes and adopted smoking as a habit. Nobody ever asked if Quinn was okay; they assumed, they ordered, they shunned. They never asked.

Her breath left her again in a heavy rush, this time much more forceful and much less relieving. Rather than ease, Quinn felt her chest constrict even more and the pain that threatened tears reached her face. Rachel noticed her effect immediately and racked her brain for a change of subject before Quinn had a complete meltdown. Her eyes grazed the empty stage and the glossy piano before them.

"Do you remember the last time we were here together?" she asked. Quinn, who had been focusing on taking deep breaths, sniffed hard and looked up to mimic Rachel's view of the auditorium. She winced slightly at the memory of their fight over Finn and the cruel words she had thrown out.

"Yes," she breathed. She swallowed and willed her voice to not betray her frailty. "I was horrible to you."

"You were a little harsh," Rachel agreed, though Quinn amazingly saw a smile hidden in the girl's features.

"I'm sorry I've always been so mean to you, Rachel," Quinn said seriously. She felt a twinge of pain in the pit of her stomach as she unraveled one of her guilty knots. "You didn't deserve that."

"It's okay, Quinn. I know you're sorry," Rachel assured her earnestly. Quinn shook her head, her short, freshly-blonde hair lapping against her cheeks like waves to the shore. Despite all annoying qualities and past grudges, Rachel truly was an amazing character. She seemed like the only person who could ever get through to Quinn, too. She was the only one who ever tried.

"I know I have no right to," Quinn began nervously, "but can I ask you something?" Rachel nodded encouragingly. "I'm sorry if this is too personal. Do you hate Shelby?"

"That_ is_ very personal," Rachel whispered after a long pause, during which Quinn regretted her courage and wished she had just stayed quiet. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm scared," Quinn admitted. Both girls were now speaking at an intimate, nearly inaudible level, and both had churning stomachs, but only Quinn was trembling. "I don't want Beth to hate me."

And that was it. Tears fell, just like they had when Quinn had first seen her daughter's picture on Shelby's phone. Her shoulders shook and she seemed to collapse in on herself, quivering hands pressed to her tearstained face. Rachel instinctively wrapped her thin arm around Quinn and was slightly surprised when Quinn didn't fight her. Heart breaking for the broken heart beside her, Rachel gave Quinn's athletic frame a small squeeze.

"Quinn," Rachel said experimentally. When no response came, she raised her voice and tried again. The second time, Quinn removed her hands and searched for comfort in Rachel's warm chocolate eyes. Rachel wiped the tears from Quinn's glistening cheeks and ducked her head a little so they were completely eye-level and very close. "I don't hate Shelby."

"You don't?" Quinn choked out, swallowing and sniffing frequently in an embarrassed attempt to take control of herself. She couldn't believe she was falling apart in front of Rachel Berry. Yet, she knew that she was somehow glad that it was Rachel she was melting before. Only Rachel would attempt to make her feel better without judgement and with discretion.

"No," Rachel answered with a shake of her head. "I don't. And I never knew her. I was left to wonder and cry for 17 years before I knew her. And then she left again. And I don't hate her. Now, if I don't hate Shelby Corcoran for birthing and abandoning me and then abandoning me again, I'm positive that Beth won't hate you. Look at what you're doing just to prove that you can be there for her. That is why you're back in Glee, isn't it?"

"You're very perceptive, Berry," Quinn mumbled. Rachel smiled brightly, her radiant light helping to dry Quinn's tears. "Beth should hate me. You should hate me. So many people should hate me, after all I've done."

"You're impossible to hate, Quinn Fabray," Rachel assured her, still grinning at the tearful girl. Their silence was more comfortable this time while Rachel waited for Quinn to compose herself. She let her arm slip from around the blonde and instead played idly with the piano.

"I'm sorry I ruined your rehearsal," Quinn quipped eventually. Rachel just smirked.

"When was the last time you sang?" she asked in response. Quinn sniffed the last of her tears away.

"Nationals, I think," Quinn answered sadly. Rachel shook her head in disapproval.

"In Glee Club, we sing our feelings. I find it to be a very therapeutic process that is vital to one's survival, especially in a cruel high school such as this," Rachel admonished. Quinn blinked at the energetic performer.

"You want me to sing?" she questioned. Rachel raised her eyebrows expectantly. Quinn's tongue raked over her bottom lip again. "I don't know...besides, there's no music," she excused lamely.

"So sing a Capella," Rachel suggested matter-of-factly. "Come on, I'll sing back-up. You'll feel better."

Quinn closed her eyes, mentally searching through her music library for a song that would emulate her complex emotions and intricate thoughts. As with nearly every time she closed her eyes, she saw Beth. She pictured her adorable little blonde, giggling in her father's arms. Then she heard Rachel stir next to her and she thought of the way she had treated the brunette over the years. And for what? Because Rachel was talented? Because she was a better person than Quinn was? Quinn locked her jaw and opened her eyes; she had a song.

"_I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head,_" she sang, shakily at first but with more strength and precision as she continued to pour out the notes. Rachel continued to smile beside her, inspiring her to keep going. "_They crawl in like a cockroach, leaving babies in my bed, dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone, playing movies in my head that make a horror* feel like home. There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain. An ounce of peace is all I want for you, will you never call again? And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face? And will you never try to reach me? It is I who wanted space._" Rachel joined her as she hit the chorus. She struggled through the words as they hit home and threatened to break her down again, but Rachel's added tone acted as reassurance. She kept singing. She kept feeling. "_Hate me today. Hate me tomorrow. Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you. Hate me in ways, yeah, ways bards to swallow. Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you_."

Quinn's voice cracked and she could go no further. Rachel cheered her and have a small applause, forcing her to involuntarily smile. She looked into Rachel's eyes again and surprised them both by hugging the girl.

"Thank you," she whispered.

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><p><strong>*If you're familiar with the song, you'll notice I changed a word. This is just in the spirit of keeping it as true to the show as a Faberry fic can be, and they always change the words to make it more suitable to sing.<strong>

**Questions, comments, concerns? I promise I'll reply to you! :)  
><strong>


	2. When I See Beth Smiling

**Welcome back! Hope you're enjoying! Please leave me messages if you are or are not! :)**

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><p><strong><em>When I See Beth Smiling<em>**

**Lonny Heckman***

Quinn Fabray's return to the choir room was received with mix responses. Most of the New Directions had already greeted Quinn at Booty Camp, but Mr. Schuester still made an announcement. Quinn blushed a light pink from her seat in the back as the others were obligated to reply to the news.

Santana stated loudly that "the bitch is back," much to Quinn's dismay. Brittany hugged her from the side. Puck smirked at her in the annoying "I'm proud of you" sort of way. Mercedes reached across to touch Quinn's hand and told her she was glad she was back. Blaine too welcomed her with a smile, while Kurt clapped dully. Artie, Mike, and Tina acted similarly. Rachel gave a knowing nod and an encouraging smile. Finn did nothing.

"Alright, now that we're all reacquainted," Mr. Schue began, redirecting everyone's focus off of Quinn and onto himself. Quinn gratefully sank into her seat, hiding herself behind Finn's giant demeanor. "I believe Puck has something he'd like to show us."

Interested, Quinn watched Puck make his way to the floor and pick up his well-worn acoustic guitar. He guided the strap over his shoulder and did a quick strum before looking up at his classmates. Quinn had only seen that soft and serious look in his eyes a few times and knew that a stomachache was soon in store for her.

"As some of you probably know, Shelby Corcoran is back in town. That means my daughter is here too. I got to see her the other day, and she...This one's for Beth," he prefaced. Quinn had been correct in assuming that nausea was on its way for her. She felt a few pairs of eyes slide in her direction, none's stare as powerful as the dark brown ones in the row in front of her. Quinn kept her hazel eyes glued to Puck and tried to ignore the prickling on the back of her neck.

"_When I see Beth smiling_," Puck sang. Everyone returned their attention to the singer. Rachel's eyes were the last to leave her. "_Time just fades away. Nighttime turns to day. We're as one. She gives me comfort. She can bring me joy like a little boy on Christmas day. Something happened I cannot explain. Now I know I'll never be the same. When I see Beth smiling, words cannot express the feelings I have deep in my heart." _

Applause broke out after Puck's endearing performance. He removed his guitar without removing his eyes from Quinn. His stare was hard and meaningful. Quinn looked back helplessly, swallowing down tears and a gag reflex and praying for the bell to ring. Idle chatter followed the last of the clapping, but Quinn remained silent and unmoving in her seat.

"Are you okay?" a soft voice asked from her left. Quinn looked at the innocence that was Brittany Pierce and nodded. "You look like Snow White."

"You do look kinda pale, Q," Santana agreed, eyeing down her short-haired friend.

"Don't call me Q," Quinn requested. Before Santana could inquire further into the changes in the ex-Cheerio, the bell that Quinn had been asking God for rang throughout the school and dismissed her from the suffocating room.

"Quinn," a new voice called just as she had made it into the hall. Rachel Berry's concern hit Quinn like a slushie and her defenses turned on.

"Don't, Rachel," she interrupted shortly. "I'm fine. I don't need you to worry about me. Don't think what happened in the auditorium yesterday is going to become a regular thing. Nothing's changed." She looked over Rachel's shoulder, mostly to escape seeing the hurt on her face, and saw Finn leaning against the doorway. "Finn's waiting for you."

"Finn can wait a little longer," Rachel said quietly but steadily. Quinn forced herself to look back at Rachel.

"We didn't lose Nationals for nothing," she snapped coldly. Rachel nodded reluctantly after an uneventful pause and spun on her heel to march towards Finn, hating that she was doing so.

"What was that?" he asked when she was closer. "You two aren't friends."

"That doesn't mean I can't be a nice person and make sure she's okay," Rachel huffed. To her surprise, Finn smiled.

"You're so cute," he told her, bending down to give her a kiss. Rachel looked over her shoulder as soon as she could, hoping that Quinn hadn't seen, but the blonde was already out of sight.

She hated hurting Quinn with Finn. Especially now that they were, in a twisted way, sort of friends. She knew that a lot of Quinn's pain was caused by losing Finn and having to watch him be with her every day.

Rachel truly did like Finn. In the beginning, her infatuation with him was mostly based on her own idea that they belonged together as leaders of Glee. Then he made her feel good about herself, something Rachel had never really experienced before. But when she kissed Finn, it was nice. That was it, really. Nice. There was no fireworks display. She knew that they wouldn't be together forever and that didn't upset her too much. So she hated making Quinn hurt for that.

But Quinn had bigger problems than Finn Hudson. Though her stomach still cringed at the sight of 'Finchel', as they had affectionately been nicknamed, she told herself that she left Finn in New York. She let go of him when she let go of her beautifully long locks. After all, wasn't that mostly of what the summer had been about? Running away and forgetting her issues?

And that had all been fine until she found one she couldn't escape, a mistake that had come back to haunt her. Shelby Corcoran was back in town and almost literally dangling her daughter before her very eyes. Quinn had to stop hiding.

She marched down the halls of William McKinley and into the classroom where she had been emotionally tortured by an LCD image. She strode confidently into the room, wearing the colors of the old Quinn and the confidence of the HBIC. Quinn knew that she was no longer either of these things, but as long as she was convincing, it didn't matter. There was only one person who saw through her, and that particularly short person was not in the room, though her mother was.

"I want to see my daughter," she demanded. Shelby turned around in surprise and smiled pleasantly upon taking in Quinn's polished exterior.

"Okay," she answered. "Okay."

Later that night, just as she had been told, Quinn arrived at Shelby's address. It took her several minutes to get out of the car and several more to knock on the door she was frozen in front of. Her mind was in such an uproar that she couldn't hear her own thoughts, let alone process them. The whirlwind in her head originated in her heart, causing her emotions to be a flurry of confusion as well. She was scared and excited, nervous and anxious. But when the door was finally opened and Quinn saw the baby she had given birth to in Shelby's arms, she felt just one thing: heartbreak.

The tears were falling before the door behind her even had time to close. A smile so wide it hurt her cheeks split her lips upon first sight of Beth. Finally she got to see the little girl who had captured the heart of Noah Puckerman. And she could see why. Beth was so beautiful, looking just like Quinn when she was Baby Lucy, but with obvious traces of Puck. The infant smile at Quinn as if she knew who she was and Quinn felt the pieces of her heart pull further apart.

"Can I hold her?" she asked, looking up at Shelby with pleading eyes. The older woman simply nodded, looking down compassionately at the young mother. Quinn reached out for her daughter, fighting to control her tears as she did so. A small chuckle escaped her lips as the child passed hands and she felt the warmth and weight of the little girl. The world melted away around them and nothing else mattered or existed. There was only Quinn and Beth. "Hi," she whispered loudly, exaggerating her features to amuse the baby. Beth reached out a pudgy hand to explore Quinn's face. "Hi, baby. Oh, you're so beautiful. You are so, so beautiful."

"I was just going to put her down for the night," Shelby said softly. Quinn snapped back to reality, tearing her eyes from Beth to look up at her child's adoptive mother. She stopped whispering to the baby and instead pressed her lips against her temple. "Would you like to…?"

Quinn nodded, not yet wanting to give up the feel of holding her daughter. She followed Shelby down the hall and into a room that unmistakably housed a little girl. The furniture was all white and the walls a soft pink with butterflies and stuffed animals adorned every flat surface. Quinn had to smile at the sight. She continued to bounce the child in her arms, periodically making silly faces or giving light kisses to her as Shelby busied herself around the room. Every move the baby made tugged at her heart a little more. How could she have given this up?

They changed her into pink pajamas glittered with gold stars and Quinn instinctively thought of Rachel. She looked around the room again and realized that this was the childhood that Rachel Berry would have had if Shelby had not given her up. What kind of life would Beth have if Quinn was raising her? Her endless thought train of what-ifs was interrupted by a sweet noise from Beth.

"What's the matter?" Quinn cooed, pouting at the bleary-eyed baby. "You don't want to go to sleep? What if I sing to you? Would you like that?" Quinn looked over her shoulder to Shelby for approval. The woman nodded, smiling proudly at Quinn. Quinn, in return, gave Beth a light squeeze and began bouncing her again while she pondered a song. It wasn't long until the words that had been replaying in her brain since the Glee meeting fluttered to the surface. "_When I see Beth smiling, time just fades away. Nighttime turns to day. We're as one." _

Quinn watched as Beth's eyes slowly closed and her breathing became more and more peaceful with every word. Finally the child was completely asleep and Quinn had run out of lyrics. She put Beth in her crib and turned to Shelby again, realizing that she not only ran out of lyrics—she had no words, either.

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><p><strong>*Not positive who the original artist is, but I think it's him. The version of the song I have on my iPod is a Natalie Maines cover from Howard Stern.<br>**


	3. Bring Me to Life

**Hey guys, thanks for checking in again. This chapter gave me a lot of trouble. I re-wrote it like three times tonight T_T I'm still not sure how I feel about it (lots of dialogue and a bit of OOC-ness) so let me know what _you _think! There is a lot of Faberry in this one, though, I can promise that ;) Enjoy!**

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><p><strong><em>Bring Me to Life<em>**

**Evanescence  
><strong>

Quinn Fabray drove aimlessly around the familiar town of Lima, Ohio while the air grew cooler and the sky darker. She had never felt such extreme contradictory emotions before; she had never been so incredibly happy and so unbelievably depressed at the same time. She wasn't sure what to do. And so she drove.

Eventually the black blanket of night completely enveloped her and she stopped driving. She pulled out her phone and dialed the one person who would truly understand how she felt.

"Quinn?" Puck answered.

"I saw her," Quinn said quietly. She heard a sharp intake of breath on Puck's end.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" he asked.

"She's so gorgeous, Puck," Quinn agreed breathlessly.

"Do you want to come over and talk?" he suggested. Quinn looked out the window at the house she was stopped in front of.

"I can't tonight," she declined. There was a pause in which neither of them really knew what to say. "Hey Puck?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you feel when you saw her?" Quinn nestled her phone in her shoulder and stretched her arms through the steering wheel, drumming lightly on the dash her fingers found there.

"Like I finally had a purpose," Puck told her honestly. Quinn shuffled in her seat, almost afraid to say what she knew was coming next. "You?"

"Alive," she confessed with a deep sigh. "For the first time in a while, I felt alive."

She didn't stay on the phone with Puck much longer. The lights in the house beside her were slowly distinguishing one by one, and she feared she was losing her chance. Even as she walked up the driveway to the front door, she couldn't explain her actions to herself. She wasn't sure why she had brought herself here, but she knew that this was somehow what she wanted and what she needed.

A tall black man answered the door moments later. Quinn immediately had second thoughts, but by mow it was too late to turn around, even if she thought her feet would allow her to run. She licked her bottom lip nervously and looked up at the man who had greeted her.

"Hi. Is, uhm, is Rachel here?" she asked timidly.

"Quinn?" A familiar voice added itself to the conversation. Quinn had never been so grateful to hear those pompous pipes. "It's okay, Daddy, I've got this."

Rachel's father abandoned the door and disappeared from view. Rachel, however, moved closer. She wore only a black tank top and pink pajama pants. Quinn surprised herself by thinking of how cute Rachel looked in the simple attire, unhidden behind obnoxious sweaters.

"Is everything okay?" Rachel asked worriedly. Quinn snapped her eyes up to Rachel's a smiled.

"Yeah," she said quickly. "Yeah, no, everything's fine. Great, actually."

"You've seen her, haven't you?" Rachel concluded in hushed tones. Quinn's smile widened as she nodded happily. Rachel grinned back, looked over her shoulder, and walked passed Quinn to the swing on the porch.

"I would have called first, but I don't have your number," Quinn said as she took a seat next to Rachel.

"That's okay. I'm glad you came," the brunette replied.

"You are?" Quinn questioned with genuine surprise. She looked through the darkness at Rachel to see her nod.

"Well, I have to admit that after our encounter in the auditorium yesterday and seeing you in Glee this afternoon, I was rather concerned for you," Rachel told her. "But why did you come to me? Why not Puck or somebody else?"

"Puck would listen to me because he understands, because we have this one thing in common. Anyone else would listen because it's their obligation as a friend. But I've been horrible to you and you still listen and still seem to care more than them," Quinn admitted.

"I bet Beth's beautiful," Rachel commented after a short bout of silence had overcome the pair.

"I've never seen anyone so beautiful," Quinn gushed, bursting into a smile again. Rachel giggled.

"Well, of course she is. Look at who her mother is. And Noah is not particularly unattractive either." She twisted her body even further so she could stare Quinn dead in the eye while she continued. "You're gorgeous, Quinn. Especially when you smile. And I haven't seen a smile light up your features like that in a while." Quinn was thankful for the darkness so that Rachel couldn't see her blush.

"That's because I haven't felt like this in a while," Quinn confided, the smile fading from her face. She licked her lip again. She still couldn't believe where she was and what she was doing. But she couldn't help it; talking to Rachel was so easy and felt so good. "I feel real again, I feel alive. I want to sing, but-" She was interrupted by laughter from her right. "What?"

"I don't know, it's just a little strange, I guess, hearing you say that. I always just assumed that singing was just a sort of hobby to you," the giggling girl answered.

"Well then this is one for the record books: Rachel Berry is wrong," the blonde teased. "That's what Glee and you taught me-to sing my feelings. I just can't think of a song to fit. Nothing seems to capture this energy."

"I'm afraid that my personal music library consists of mostly classic show tunes, but I'm sure we could find something suitable on the Internet," Rachel suggested.

Quinn gratefully agreed to Rachel's help and followed the smaller girl into the house, up the stairs, and into a bedroom. Quinn had to choke back a laugh when she reached Rachel's room and looked around. It was so reminiscent of Beth's bedroom at Shelby's apartment. Maybe Rachel hadn't missed out on much after all.

They spent a while going through iTunes and joking about song selections. Finally Quinn pointed to the screen and requested that Rachel play a sample. Quinn knew at once that the song was perfect, but Rachel looked apprehensive.

"It's just that I'm not sure it's quite within your range," she said. Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Will you sing with me?" she asked.

"Of course. And if we get Puck to sing the male lead, I'm sure we can pull it off adequately."

"That's the spirit," Quinn muttered as she stood and stretched.

"Quinn, can I ask you something?" Rachel piped up suddenly. She seemed to have been holding this in for a while. Quinn nodded and waited for a long-winded question to form. "Do you think Shelby's a good mother?"

Quinn sank back into her seat on the edge of Rachel's bed. A part of her was surprised Shelby hadn't come up earlier and a part of her was mad at herself for not being the one to bring it up. Why did she think that she could show up talking about Beth and not also talk about Beth's adoptive mother—Rachel's biological mother. She sighed.

"From what I saw, yes," she answered honestly. "Beth's room looks a lot like yours, actually, but a bit more pink, a lot more stuff animals, and a little less bedazzled." Rachel laughed. "We talked about you, you know. Giving you up is her biggest regret."

"I know," Rachel whispered.

"What was it like when you first met her?" Quinn inquired. Rachel let out a breath, for once at a loss for words.

"Nothing like what you felt when you saw Beth. I thought it would be, but…it wasn't," she said. They fell into another silence. Eventually Quinn caught sight of Rachel's alarm clock and noticed how late it had gotten. She stood up again.

"I should go. Thanks so much, Rach."

"Of course," Rachel replied. Her voice lacked a certain gravity; in truth, she was breathless at how she had gone from 'Berry' to 'Rach' to Quinn. She found her voice again just as the blonde's hand found the doorknob. "Hey,Quinn. I just...I just wanted you to know that you can talk to me whenever you want to. I mean, I'm here for you whenever you need someone or want someone..."

"Same to you, Rachel," Quinn said kindly with a smirk. "That's what friends are for."

"Friends," Rachel repeated, smiling broadly.

The next day, Rachel met with Puck and Quinn to rehearse the song Quinn had chosen. Puck was immediately on board with the project, seeing as he felt the same way and loved the song. He, too, felt that it was the perfect song choice. The day after that, the Glee club got a shock when Quinn marched in with her nose ring and leather grunge clothes adorned.

"Before we begin today, Quinn, Puck, and Rachel have something prepared," Mr. Schuester announced. It was obvious that he was just as confused as the others as he took a seat amongst the muttering. Quinn smirked at her partners while Puck adjusted the shoulder strap on the electric guitar he was wielding.

"_How can you see into my eyes like open doors_?" Quinn began to sing. Her eyes flickered to Rachel for a moment before she turned back to her audience. "_Leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb. Without a soul, my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold until you find it and lead it back home_."

"_Wake me up_," Puck joined. They went back and forth in the chorus with Rachel singing back-up to Quinn. By the time they had reached the second verse, all of the Glee kids were on their feet and harmonizing with them. Quinn pictured Beth clearly in her head and wailed the words.

"_Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me. Breathe into me and make me real. Bring me to life."_

_"Wake me up."_

_"Wake me up inside."_

_"I can't wake up."_

_"Wake me up inside."_

_"Save me."_

_"Call my name and save me from the dark."_

_"Wake me up."_

_"Bid my blood to run."_

_"I can't wake up."_

_"Before I come undone."_

_"Save me."_

_"Save me from the nothing I've become."_

The chorus became a boys vs. girls group duet. Quinn kept catching Rachel's eye and smiling like crazy. She couldn't believe how good it felt, letting it all out there. At the same time, she felt vulnerable, exposing herself so easily. Is this how Rachel felt all the time?

At the end of the song, Quinn wanted to collapse. She felt completely drained and exhausted after singing her heart out like that. Yet she still couldn't stop smiling. Puck wrapped an arm around her amongst the applause and kissed the top of her head. Rachel put a hand to her shoulder and exchanged a meaningful stare with her. Her brown eyes said that they were proud of Quinn, and for once Quinn felt she had something to be proud of.

Their interactions in the choir room that day didn't go unnoticed, though. Santana and Brittany approached Quinn at her locker later that day. She smiled at the Cheerios, still in a good mood from Glee.

"What's with you and Berry?" Santana asked accusingly.

"What?" Quinn laughed.

"You two looked like you wanted to get your sweet lady kisses on," Brittany added.

"That's ridiculous," Quinn argued. "She helped me out, that's all."

The faces of her friends suggested that that was not all.


	4. Even Though

**Well hello! So you'll notice in a few seconds that the beginning of this chapter is written in a very weird manner. I thought it'd be cool to show two parallel conversations going on. On the left is Rachel's conversation with Kurt. On the right is Quinn talking to Santana. Anything in the middle means that both conversations said the same thing. The second part is easier to understand. I hope it's not too confusing when you're reading through :/ Review and let me know! Enjoy!**

**EDIT: Okay, cool, the formatting didn't work. Now the italics are Rachel's side of the conversation.  
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><p><strong><em>Even Though<em>**

**Darren Criss***

_"Quinn Fabray."_

"Rachel Berry."

"What about her?"

"Exactly."

_"Kurt, I—"_

"Santana, I—"

"You've been spending a lot of time with her."

"So?"

"Do you like her?"

"We're friends!"

"Last time you were 'friends with her,

_she was manipulating you."_

you were manipulating her."

_"She's different now!"_

"I'm different now!"

"Exactly!"

_"I have a boyfriend!"_

"I'm straight!"

"Oh, sweetie. We've all known for a while."

"Known what?"

_"You like Quinn!"_

"You like Rachel!"

"Just because _you're _gay—"

"We're tired of waiting for you to see it yourselves.

_Why did you forgive her so easily?_

Why did she forgive you so easily?

_Why are you always supporting her?_

And why is she always supporting you?

And why do you always stare at her?

And smile?"

"I…I don't…."

"You like her!"

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><p>Quinn wondered if her best friend was right.<p>

It wouldn't exactly be the first time that Quinn was attracted to a girl, if it was the truth.

But Quinn had ignored those feelings back then,

and she thought she'd put them to rest over the summer when a fling went wrong.

In any case, she had certainly never thought of Rachel that way before.

_Rachel wondered if her best friend was right._

_It wouldn't exactly be the first time that Rachel was attracted to a girl, if it was the truth._

_But those thoughts were normal, right?_

_Everyone got a little curious._

_It wasn't like she had ever acted on them or anything._

_In any case, she had certainly never thought of Quinn that way before._

Looking back over their time in high school, Santana's theory made sense.

Quinn was horrible to Rachel, but Rachel easily forgave her every time.

Why had Quinn bullied her anyway? Why single Rachel out?

Was it, as Santana had suggested, an excuse to talk to and about Rachel, to see Rachel?

_Looking back over their time in high school, Kurt's theory made sense._

_Quinn was horrible to Rachel, but she easily forgave Quinn every time._

_Why let go of all of that hurt so quickly? Why not ever seek revenge?_

_Was it, as Kurt had suggested, an excuse to talk to and about Quinn, to see Quinn?_

Why, Santana was wrong, did Quinn want to see Rachel?

Why did she long for that smile?  
>That voice?<p>

Those eyes?

_Why, if Kurt was wrong, did Rachel want to see Quinn?_

_Why did she long for that smile?_

_That voice?_

_Those eyes?_

* * *

><p>"Everybody quiet!" Kurt's high voice echoed through the choir room. The chatter died away and all eyes turned to the fashionable boy, who was donning a broad grin as he looked over his club mates. "Our newest member, the hot and talented Blaine Anderson, has written a song that he would like to perform. So listen!"<p>

"I actually wrote this a while ago, but I've always been a little too embarrassed to show anyone," Blaine added. He looked up from his seat in the center of the room to smirk at his boyfriend. "That is, until someone gave me _courage._"

"Alright, Blaine, let's hear it!" Mr. Schuester acknowledged.

All of these proceedings were lost to both Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry. They sat separately but similarly: arms folded over their chests, eyes blank and thoughtful. They were in their own worlds, completely oblivious to the one around them. Everybody else in the room was too preoccupied with Blaine's song to notice their behavior. Even if they had, most of them already knew what was going on.

In the back of her mind, Quinn heard Blaine's song loud and clear. It burned into her brain without her even paying much attention to it. The same happened for Rachel, sitting in the row in front of the blonde. Her bird's eye view allowed Quinn to continuously peer over at Rachel. It was only the back of her head that she was seeing, but for Quinn it was enough.

Rachel yearned to turn around and look at Quinn. She wanted desperately to see the hidden smile she would receive when Quinn would catch her staring. They hadn't talked much or spent any time together since their performance due to busy schedules and it was slowly killing Rachel. She felt as though her stomach was being eaten away at by a monster trying to escape to be with Quinn.

Rachel blamed Kurt just as much as Quinn cursed Santana. Neither had been having these wild feelings before their interventions. But now that these thoughts were in their heads, they were impossible to get rid of and just as hard to ignore.

Quinn decided that she'd had enough. She was done secretly thinking of Rachel and she was over being afraid of the consequences. She marched into the auditorium after school, knowing that Rachel would be there to practice for the play. Sure enough, the brunette was on stage. She was not, however, singing, as Quinn had predicted she would be. Quinn felt an immediate disappointment; she had subconsciously been looking forward to hearing Rachel's golden notes.

"Rachel?" Quinn called softly as she climbed the stairs at stage right. Rachel looked up from her lonely seat on the piano bench and caught her breath at the sight of Quinn. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Rachel lied. She moved over to make room for Quinn to sit beside her, which she did without hesitation. They fell into silence, neither knowing how to begin the conversation. Quinn was first to break it.

"Have you ever been with a girl?" she asked boldly. Rachel looked shocked, but Quinn wasn't sure whether it was the subject, the abruptness, or the implications that caused such a reaction.

"No! Have you?"

"Yes," Quinn admitted quietly. She stared at a scuff mark on the stage. Her mind involuntarily turned to thoughts of her summer and her experimental 'relationship.'

"With who?" Rachel gasped. "Wait. I'm sorry, that was a rather personal question. You don't have to answer that. When was it? This summer?"

"This is a pretty personal conversation," Quinn commented with a laugh. "She was older and not exactly a classy type of person. I wouldn't even call it a relationship; we just kissed a few times. And yes, it was this summer. We can call this summer Killing Quinn Fabray." The blonde laughed again, but Rachel didn't. She felt a tug at her heart for the damage done to Quinn.

"Did you like it?" Rachel inquired further. Her voice had dropped in volume, amplifying the intimacy of the conversation.

"No," Quinn replied just as gently. "But lately I've been wondering if it was because it was with a girl or because it was with _that _girl. Because I've been having these thoughts about someone, and I really just want to kiss her." Quinn didn't realize how true the words were until she had spoken them. Rachel appeared to stop breathing.

"I've been having those thoughts too," she whispered.

Finally Quinn lifted her eyes from the scuff mark on the stage. Finally she looked at Rachel, who stared back with pleading innocence and pure beauty. Finally she leaned forward, licked her bottom lip, and then attached it to Rachel's.

Rachel froze for a moment after Quinn's lips had pressed themselves to hers. But it was only for a moment. Her eyelids slid closed and her lips reacted joyfully to the kiss. They held it for as long as they could, hearts pounding loudly in their chests, before drawing back for air. Both girls looked surprised, but both felt incredibly happy.

And then Rachel panicked.

"Oh no," she began, jumping to her feet and pacing away. "Oh god, what am I going to do? You're supposed to hate me. You've always hated me, so it didn't matter that I thought you were really pretty, because you would never want to be with me. And now here you are, wanting to be with me. But I'm with Finn. Oh god, Finn! What's going to happen now?"

"Rachel!" Quinn cried. She had been watching Rachel pace up and down the stage with increasing alarm. Her soft calls to the girl had gone unnoticed, masked by the mounting rapidity of the rant. She joined Rachel on her feet before it had gone too far and reached for the girl's arms to stop her movement. She waited until Rachel was looking her in the eye before speaking again. "Do you remember Blaine's song?" she asked with a smirk and a quirky eyebrow lift.

"The one he wrote? Yes, it was very good. I think. I was a little distracted," Rachel answered breathlessly.

"Well this time, don't be distracted," Quinn said. Rachel barely had time to look puzzled before Quinn was singing to her. "_Even though I was blind before, I've realized there is so much more, and it was always deep in the core of me. I know it now. _Sing with me, Rachel."

"_Even though it seems too much to take, there's a feeling I can't seem to shake. I feel like I am reading the signs, cuz I know that I'm coming around,_" Rachel sang.

"_I thought I wanted someone perfect as can be, when all I needed was the one who was perfect for me,_" Quinn soloed before Rachel joined her again for the chorus.

"_Even though it used to seem so wrong, I've taken you for granted far too long. I'm falling right into the denouement, and now I'm breaking ground. Even though I've felt it from the start, it's only now we're beating with one heart. I'm sure that now is the time, cuz I know that…the sun is starting to shine, cuz I know that I'm coming around."_

Rachel laughed helplessly and let herself be pulled into Quinn's arms. Quinn sighed into brunette hair while Rachel breathed in sweet perfume. They each made mental notes to thank Santana and Kurt later—they were perfection together.

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><p><strong>*Yes, I am trying to be funny.<strong>

**Sorry for the lame ending. It's midnight and I've got to get to bed -_- lol Goodnight!  
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